"And I make pretty good spaghetti sauce........... MUTHA FUCKA!"

This is funny!

"With the iPod feature I've got plenty of tunes to choose from when I'm coming down from my meth high."

The Funniest Joke in the World

Casino vs Sesame Street

This is hilarious!!

Akeelah and the Bee

I watched this movie tonight. Only because there was nothing else on.
By far it was the BEST movie I have seen all year.
This is one of those movies that gives you goose pump in the end.
I highly recommend it.

Arrrrrr

My pirate name is:

Dread Pirate Kidd

Like the famous Dread Pirate Roberts, you have a keen head for how to make a profit. Even though you're not always the traditional swaggering gallant, your steadiness and planning make you a fine, reliable pirate. Arr!

Get your own pirate name from piratequiz.com.
part of the fidius.org network

After 65 days

I finally got my car back today.

September Sucks

I am having a bad month, probably the worst ever.

Mainly due to one person.

It is doubtful that this person reads this blog

Nobody reads this....

But, if it just so happens they stumble across it....


I FUCKING HATE YOU!!!

and not the "oh I hate you, but I really don't"

I
FUCKING
HATE
YOU

You must watch this

The AAC Conspiracy

Auto Insurance
Auto Repair
Car Rental

So the one person that reads this blog knows that my car was recently destroyed by a hit and run driver on July 12th.
My car is still in the shop, which made me think I believe I may have uncovered a conspiracy!

My insurance policy allows for a 30 day rental car.
After that I have to pay.
So my car was damaged enough to have to take a month to repair.
The insurance company knows that now they are going to be out the $30 a day for a rental for the next month.

The following is a dramatization of events I believe actually took place

Insurance Guy

• "Hey you are getting paid no matter what, and we bring you a ton of business. We know this is going to take a month...but would you mind maybe taking a month and a half?? Before you answer.. remember we bring you a LOT of business"

Auto Repair Guy

• "No Problem"

Insurance Guy goes to the Rental Car Guy

Insurance Guy

• "Hey man, I just made this deal with the auto repair guy. He is going to hold on to my customers car for two weeks longer than was quoted. Now..You make a tremendous amount of money from our referrals. Lets make a deal that if we have to pay the full 30 days on a rental car, you will only charge us for 2 weeks......How do you make up the other 2 weeks you say?? Well.. we have this deal with the auto repair guy. I make a call and he holds on to the car for as long as I want. Then, the customer will start paying for the daily charges and you get your lost 2 weeks worth of rental fees ."

Car Rental Guy

• "No Problem"

Yeah, I SWEAR this is going down!
It is happening to me right NOW!

The Big Weekend Teaser #2

Damn! This is impressive!

The Big Weekend Teaser #1

We are having a big convention for Epson. I am inviting over 300 Delegates from across the country. Since the convention isn't until August, I will be creating teasers to keep those that have confirmed attendance interested. The first one is below.

Now Ice Cube

Lando Calrissian loves his .45

We are the Night ?? More like We are CRAP

I gotta tell you, I am extremely disappointed with The Chemical Brothers new album. I have been waiting weeks for it to be released. I just bought it on iTunes about 15 minutes ago and so far I am not impressed. There are two songs that fucking rock - Do it Again and All Rights Reversed. Other than that, it is pretty much crap. I guess I need to give it a few days and I have not listened to all the songs thoroughly but so far I paid $11.99 for two songs.. One of which I already bought a week ago. So $11.99 for one song

Damn

This dog is bad ass. Read the story

How does this even happen?

Week 3 Lotto Video

Week 2 Lotto Video

I got my tickets!!

The White Stripes
Sept. 19th 2007
The Forum

WORD!!!!

The White Stripes

My work video has not been "Approved" by Youtube yet. Hopefully it will be soon.

Anyway, the new White Stripes album is due out on June 19th.
You can listen to the entire album
RIGHT NOW
HERE.
I have to say what I have heard so far has blown my mind.
I love Rag and Bone.
Like I said a few weeks ago, these guys ROCK.
They are going to be playing in San Diego
The Embarcadero on Sept. 18th
They will also be playing The Forum on Sept. 19th.
I am planning on going to this show.
I must get tickets!

Week 1 Lotto Video

So I totally asked for this.
I came up with this idea at work for a fun & cool way to communicate with our field delegates. I did not want to be in this video, I just wanted credit for the idea and to be able to edit it.
They loved the pilot video I did that I posted a while back.
So now I have to come up with a new video each week.
The only time I have to do this is on the weekends.
I am complaining but deep down inside I love that they like the videos and I am getting so much recognition at work for them.
Even though I don't really like the videos, or I should say they don't really turn out the way I envision it in my head.
I still love to make them.
A few people at work have said that I am in the wrong field, I don't understand that and don't really take it to heart.
Because...
I know that I edit videos on Windows Movie Maker

and that is embarrassing.

Fun!!

I seriously laughed for like ten minutes when I saw this.
I am still laughing
I can't look at it with out laughing.
This website is awesome!!
It is a typical E-card website BUT Way different.
The cards are hilarious!! And it is FREE!!

Lily Allen Rules

I love Lilly Allen, I just got her full album and it is pretty good. It is rare for me to listen to a whole CD without skipping to the singles. I particularly like LDN you can listen to it on her myspace.

I recommend picking this up. Nicki said this is the first British singer that actually sounds British when she sings. I'll have to agree.

Weird Ass Week

dé·jà vu /ˌdeɪʒɑ ˈvu, ˈvyu; Fr. deɪʒa ˈvü/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[dey-zhah voo, vyoo; Fr. dey-zha vy] –noun

1.	Psychology. the illusion of having previously experienced something actually being encountered for the first time.

2.

disagreeable familiarity or sameness: The new television season had a sense of déjà vu about it—the same old plots and characters with new names. I have experienced a deja vu recently like no other I have ever had. When I was still working at H2H I had a vision/deja vu type experience where I was working in a large building in a sea of cubicles. On Tuesday I was at my new job, in a big building, in a sea of cubicles and I had another deja vu. The same fucking thing that I saw while working at H2H was exactly the same place I was at that exact moment in time. **(Jillian I may need some spiritual advice!)** I am freaking out, I guess this might be compared to a religious type experience. After explaining this to Nicki, she said Deja vu is basically something that is meant to happen. I am in no way a religious person. Those that know me are aware of my position on religion. But after this experience I really started to freak out. Move to Wednesday... So I am sitting at home, playing MLB 2007 on my Xbox. Running out of Vodka. I know I must leave my game and venture to the store to purchase more. However I keep on putting it off. Finally I decide it is time to go. So I am in line at Ralphs waiting to purchase my liqour when I look over and recognize a girl standing in line across the way. She bore a striking resemblance to my ex-girlfriend of 3 years who I had not seen or heard of in 7 years. I was like no way that is her... purchased my vodka and was walking out of the store when I hear "Robert, is that you?" Holy Shit, it was her.... I could not believe it. Now many of you have never heard the tale of Nicole (yes, I seem to have a weird thing for girls named Nicol) She was crazy, like bi-polar type crazy. I'll give an example... One time I was checking out some porn on her new computer. Then one day I am at work and she calls me in hysterics, saying "You need to get the fuck home right now" balling her eyes out. So I go home and she is sitting in front of the computer with one of the websites I was checking out on the screen. She begins to lose her mind over the fact that I was looking at porn. Fast forward to last Tuesday night... ME - "So hey how have you been, how is your family?" EX - " I am good I've been modeling and dancing, I don't really talk to my family, I am basically like the black sheep." ME- "I am SO the black sheep of my family" EX - "Yeah ever since I started modeling for Penthouse they have not really talked to me" Me - (thinking in my head) I fucking knew it, I knew she would end up the adult industry (reinforcing that fact that I think I can see the future) "Wow really?!?!?, Huh" EX - "yeah I also am doing a burlesque show at the Viper room" OK, so000, like I totally knew this chick was going to end up in porn, that is weird. So I now have: 1 ex who is a suicide girl & 1 ex who has been in Penthouse BUT Most Importantly I have the woman of my dreams and the love of my life. I love you Nicki That is really all that matters. My question to you is, have you ever had a deja vu experience like this before??? Please leave a comment.

The White Stripes First View - 'Icky Thump'

The White Stripes have released the first video of the forth coming album. Which by the way if you pre-order on iTunes you will get two tracks that will be unavailable unless you pre-order. Anyway, you can watch their new video here.

I think it is brilliant. But I am biased because in my mind Jack White can do no wrong.

I highly recommend buying this album! I have already put my pre-order in. It is very rare for me to buy music but The White Stripes have never let me down.

On a side note... I just got done watching the season finale of LOST.
Hands down, it was the best 2 hours of TV I have ever seen.
If you do not watch LOST please stop reading my blog.

**UPDATE**
Except for Charity, since she is the only one that reads this.

I Love Movies

Ok, so The Dark Knight is currently filming. I love Batman, I loved Jack Nicholson as the Joker back in the day. When I heard they cast Heath Ledger as the new Joker I was pissed. Until I saw this picture.
They had an awesome marketing campaign for this movie. They started with this website
Then another website came out that is no longer available. Basically this website you entered your email address and then they gave a code to enter. When you entered this code one pixel was revealed from the Harvey Dent website. So once they had so many people add this code the entire picture was revealed. Which was the picture of what the Joker will look like in the new film. I think it is brilliant and I love how the Joker looks. This movie is going to fucking rule.

Another movie that I was not so sure about is John Rambo. Yup. Stallone is reprising his role as the bad ass Rambo. I was also not sure about Rocky Balboa but I rented it a couple weeks ago and I would say it was the best of the Rocky films. Anyway John Rambo looks bloody as hell, way more violent looking than the previous movies you can see about 3 minutes here.

UPDATE***

Ok so about that other batman website I was talking about earlier. It is right here
when you are at the page, click on the page, then click edit at the top of your screen, then click select all. WTF! brilliant you know what, I am just excited right now it would be best if you just go here and read about it.

Video for work

Here is a video I did for work. It is a lottery show I came up with as an incentive for our field delegates.

Shank the Bitch

I can't believe a certain Heiress has already had her sentence reduced from 40 something days to 20. Why? And now she will get a celebrity cell away from Gen. Pop. Is this teaching her anything? What is this teaching the young girls that look up to her? Take you medicine BITCH!
How can you not know your license was suspended??? You got a FUCKING DUI!!! HELLO!

Words of the Day

Kiss my ass Charity, I've been busy. I'll try harder to update this more.
My new job is crazy, lots of work lots of information.

So the Transformers movie is about to come out. When I first heard they were going to do this movie a couple years ago I was pissed. I loved the Transformers as a kid and I did not want them to fuck it up. Well, the new trailer came out today and it blew my mind! Starscream looks awesome! The way he jumps up, does a flip while turning into the jet! I am actually really excited for this movie. Not that I will go and see it in the theatre, that would require me leaving my house.
So Shia LaBeouf is the star. He is a pretty good actor, been getting a lot of good roles. He was recently announced to play the son of Indy in the new Indiana Jones movie(another movie I can't wait for) He was also in that Project Greenlight show, which was pretty good.

OK that is enough, I have to take the dog out.

Word of the Day

du·bi·ous –[doo-bee-uhs, dyoo-]

1.	doubtful; marked by or occasioning doubt: a dubious reply.

2.	of doubtful quality or propriety; questionable: a dubious compliment; a dubious transaction.

3.	of uncertain outcome: in dubious battle.

4.	wavering or hesitating in opinion; inclined to doubt.

Word of the Day

per·snick·et·y /pərˈsnɪkɪti/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[per-snik-i-tee]

1.	overparticular; fussy.

2.	snobbish or having the aloof attitude of a snob.

3.	requiring painstaking care.

What Does This Mean?

Have you seen the E.R. promo commercials?
The tag line at the end of the commercial is "All new episodes until the end of the season"
Isn't that redundant?
Would they show repeats until the end of the season?
Would they have "All New Episodes Until the End of the Season" and the season finale was a fucking repeat?

Maybe I just don't understand, either way it pisses me off!

FYI
I have not watched E.R. for years, since Clooney. I don't know why this upsets me so much.

Do I have a blog? Uh... YEAH I DO!

Not that anyone reads it BUT...

I started my job.

I would say that is my excuse for not blogging but I have also been too lazy.

Actually, I forgot that I even had a blog until a couple minutes ago.

Job is going good, a lot of room for growth. They are hiring about 75 more people.... so if anyone is looking for a new career let me know. I'll write more later.

Happy Birthday!!

To ME!!

Celebrities that share my B-Day.

David Beckham (32)
Brooke Hogan (19)
Jenna von Oy (30)
The Rock (35)
Stephen Daldry (46)
Christine Baranski (55)
Bianca Jagger (62)

Icky Thump

The White Stripes have released a new song. You can download it at iTunes. I love it.

Who gets me?

Who Gets Me is the new promotion I started on Mon. Basically for this promo I wear a lavender t-shirt that says Who Gets Me/whogetsme.com. I also must wear antennas on my head. And then I walk around with 5 girls that I am "supervising". I am getting $800 for 7 days. Each day the promo lasts around 3 hours, sometimes much less!

Yesterday we went and walked around Dodger Stadium. Today we were scheduled to be at the Ellen show. When I got to the studio there was nobody there, apparently they were not shooting an Ellen show that day. So they told us to go to the Jay Leno show (I can't stand Leno) we were there for about 30 minutes walking along the people waiting to go into the taping. We got kicked out of there. This confused me because we were not giving anything out we were just asking people to take pictures with us. Then we went to Acapulco's across the street. I had a beer and a margarita. Hard day at work.

Offer

Well it looks like the company I interviewed with is going to hire me. They emailed me an offer today and are mailing a hard copy sometime this week.

I am supervising a Tivo promotion for the next 2 weeks so I will start my new job on 5/7/2007.

I love this!! Thanks Barr.

Oh, by the way

HAPPY 420

Have to talk about this

If you have not heard, Alec Baldwin is a "bad father". He left this message for his daughter.
Is it a slow news day????
This is nothing, I have been talked to much worse from my parents before. Our society is becoming a bunch of fucking pussies!!

Seriously folks, why is this news? Especially after the VT thing. This is ridiculous.

Now don't get me wrong I love celebrity gossip, in fact I am addicted to Dlisted, but they are fucking skewering old Alec for this one.

I even felt the need to leave a message of support on his website, I suggest you all do the same.

Typical

So I just started this fucking blog about my employment search. I had two interviews today and one place has already called me back.

Campaigners has expressed interest in my services, I interviewed at 3 p.m., it was probably the toughest interview I have ever been on. I guess they liked me, although I was interviewed with two separate women who happened to be sisters???? Anyway I was lookin sharp and sexy. I always do better in interviews when they are done with women. Anyway they are going to give me an offer on Mon. and it sounds like it will be exactly what I was making at my last job.

Woo Hoo!

Now I have to change the name of my blog! I spent some time coming up with that name, Damn it!

Hot Fuzz?

So I took a job with a company that is promoting the movie Hot Fuzz. If you have not heard of this movie click on the fucking link above. It is from the guys that did Shaun of the Dead
If you have not seen Shaun of the Dead you need to... RIGHT NOW!

Anyway, this job entails me dressing up as one of the characters in the movie. Now I don't look anything like either of the characters and come to think of it the costume looks nothing like the characters wear. Basically I dress up like a rent a cop and hand out fake tickets/bumper stickers to people in bars, colleges, etc. They wanted us to even talk with a British accent.

I hated this job!!! I am a pretty shy person and I am not one to walk up to strangers and "act a fool" but it paid $560 for a total of 15 hours over a 2 week time period.

The one cool thing about this job was working a screening at the CAA building in Century City. They had a screening and cocktail reception, I had to walk around in costume and mingle with the guests (except for Gweneth Paltrow and her family and Mike White) Yes, I was actually told not to speak to these people. What was really funny about it is that I had to wear these aviator sunglasses when I normally wear prescription glasses. I could not see a fucking thing, but I also had no idea who the fuck Mike White was so how am I supposed to not talk to a guy I have never seen.

Anyway there were a few celebrities there:
Timothy Dalton- The shitty 007
Simon Pegg - Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz
Nick Frost - Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz
Edgar Wright - Director of Shaun and Fuzz, I actually ran into Quentin Tarantino one night promoting Hot Fuzz and Edgar was with him. I had no idea who he was, even when he told me he was the director of the movie I did not believe him.
Rosario Dawson - Not as hot in person as on the big screen
Leslie David Baker - Stanley from The Office
Scott Adsit - the bald guy on 30 Rock
Michael Cerra - who brilliantly played George Michael Bluth in Arrested Development